rite of passage

by salvador

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about

for family, friends, foes, and phonies

in loving memory of Hunter & Smokey Khan

written winter MMVIII - autumn MMX

recorded summer MMX - spring MMXI in hawthorne & berkeley, ca

credits

released July 29, 2011

all songs written, arranged, recorded, performed, and produced by Omar Khan
percussion on track viii by Raphael Guirguis

thank you: to my parents, siblings, extended family, and close friends for their company, inspiration, and encouragement

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license

all rights reserved

about

salvador Berkeley, California

my name is omar.
i collect and record musical instruments when im not sleeping, reading, or crying.

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Track Name: herbert street
Close your eyes,
And bask in the brightness of your youth.
I have lived through many moons;
Their light has brought me back to you;

When you felt warmth,
And radiated joy with what you said
To those you loved with hearts that bled
And hands that held your weary head.

So close your eyes,
And trust your other senses with your feet.
They will guide you past the grass
And broken trees of Herbert Street;

Where you once slept,
And dreamt of all the mortals that you knew;
All the pain they kept within,
And all the faith they had in you.

In dreams I see you alive,
Though time corrupted your mind,
Like a parasite that burrowed through your brain,

And when at last you returned,
The trees you climbed had all burned,
And I dont even know if they're worth it anymore.
And no(w) I'm not OK! 'cause he died two years ago.

You wanted so much so to know who you'd become,
And though I found my way, the journey took so long
I walked on forest floors and opened doors i feared,
But darkness overcame the songs I hoped you'd hear.

You are the history connecting me to home,
And though our trees have died, the flowers there have grown.

And all the roses opened up for you.

The things you know now, you wish you might have known then,
But the faces that you left in the rain might understand

That times keep changing
Like the falling leaves on the trees we planted;
They watched us grow,

And now I'm facing
Sleepless nights of trite remorse.
Why did he go?

And the roses that lined the west fence, they opened for you,
But when you left, you were taken from a world you never quite knew.
Track Name: culture shock
Can't you see I'm lost and I don't know why,
No, how could I?
We were blinded by these places new to us,
You lost our trust.

For a life you were told,
Would hold a brighter future for us all,
But we did fall from grace that day
And we won't stay, no we won't stay.

So then we found ourselves alone;
You bought a house but not a home,
And all the friends we left behind
Will (They'll) never see us as we were at the time.

Can't you see I'm lost and I don't know why,
No, how could I?
From Herbert Street to Colonel Baker's field,
I lost sense of what was real.

I was saved by the sight of Smokey sleeping soundly by my side
While Jasmin cried
At the young and tender age of three,
She meant everything to me.

Dear mother please just take my hand,
And in due time we'll understand.
Don't let it keep you up at night;
I couldn't go back even if I tried.

You offered me the world but I just wished you hadn't lied,
And all my photographs wont bring them back, they only make me cry
Because the change was much too hard for me,
But I still love you so.
I just wanted you to know I do before I had to go.
Track Name: his name was smokey
The morning sun leaks through my lids, I am awake
And well aware
You're not there,

And maybe if I close my eyes, I'll dream again
And see you near me
So dearly,

But not today; our plans have changed; the journey's done
And I cant find you
To remind you

That even though I've been away, my love for you
Will keep on burning;
And I'm still yearning for yours too,

(Worried souls surround your being.
You are confined but you don't mind;
You were a sage among us simple folk,)

And as you lie there, I try, not to cry
not to cry.

I knelt with you and saw good times;
The memories of you I could find.
Late nights of warmth and comforting.
My last goodbye in the morning.
And now I see

Wisdom and peace shown through your eyes.
A placid face was your disguise,
But I saw, I saw, I saw you,

And I promised you I would improve
And having nothing left to lose;
I tried, I tried, I tried to,

And though you never spoke a word,
Your tacit thoughts, were not observed,
But I heard, I heard, I heard you.

When I saw you in the doorway,
And I looked into your eyes just one last time,
I could see that you were anxious;
You had known me far too long to think I'd mind.

I knelt with you and saw good times;
The memories of you I could find.
Late nights of warmth and comforting.
My last goodbye in the morning.
All seven years you were there for me,
And now I see.

I hope you found your way
Track Name: souvenirs
Seven months I've waited;
All signs of love belated,
And now this fateful day has come.

So when you look into my eyes
I hope you wont despise
My attempts

At capturing your fleeing heart
But by the day's end we will part,
And I'll be alone.

(At being held in your embrace,
But soon I'll miss your charm and grace;
I'll be alone.)

My chance to act is slipping away, with every day,
So please let me know if I've got a shot
At capturing your fleeing heart,
But by the day's end, we will part.

Nine cups with friends from better days;
Our laughter echos through the haze,
And I hear your voice.

So when I sleep alone tonight
I'll sober-up and hold you tight
In my mind.

And reminisce of the golden sand, that time we ran,
And that lonesome little orange that left your hand,
Or slender blades of grass that you called souvenirs;
The soft and playful melodies your voice brought to my ears.

My chance to act is slipping away, with every day,
So please let me know if I've got a shot
At capturing your fleeing heart,
But by the day's end, we will part.

So when my conscience leaves me,
And the world's not what it seems,
I can only hope that you will love me in my dreams.

Yes when my conscience leaves me,
And the world's not what it seems,
I can only hope that you will love me in my dreams.
Track Name: family, friends, foes, and phonies
Every morning as I wake;
A new boy changed by my mistakes,

I think of you;
What we've been through,
And though we didn't always get along,
I wrote this song
For you, to sing with me.

And every night as the shadows fade away
And twilight shines on another day

I dream of you;
When we were young,
And worries were the least of our concerns,
But we still learned
To live, and to love.
Track Name: year seventeen
And after all, I hope you see,
Year seventeen just set me free.
I won't forget the tales you've told,
But now it's mine that will unfold.
Track Name: for lack of a better word (i love you)
Do mockingbirds sing songs of the extinct?
And is there less to love than what we think?
If it’s instinct that makes my heart sink,
I’ll have to rip these chains apart link by link
So you can watch the transition from my smile to a frown
As I drown from the top of Downtown.
Now that we've reconciled mile-high piles of trials,
All the blasphemy you threw at me, the truth prevails
Through your intricately woven web of lies,
But soon I’ll say you’re a sight for sore eyes
Like gradients in vanilla skies
Before the Earth’s demise.
When that time comes I’ll be transfixed by the ocean,
Calm as a baby in oscillatory motion
Because I’ll be ready for what fate brings
Though my heart stings
As it rings
Like the flutter of a bass string,

And all the birds sing...
And still the birds sing...
And all the birds sing...

And now it’s been so long since we last locked lips;
Fearing I’d forget the feeling of our fated first kiss,
And I’ll miss the myriad acts of your affection
Before you let me know the definition of deception.
Not since december have I seen so sad a sight;
Two souls singing softly under somber city light.
When the world comes to an end
I’ll no longer have any life or love to lend
So was it wrong to be engaged
Before those twenty-one days
When we're both the same age?
'Cause I hanged my head
Off the edge of my bed
And went insane
As my baleful blood filled my brain,

And heard the birds sing...
And heard the birds sing...
I heard the birds sing...

So how do I tell you that I hate the person you’ve become?
How do I tell you that I hate the person you’ve become?

'Cause I see
Puddles forming under your eyes,
And I'll be
Melancholy to realize
You're not the girl I met when I dared to dream that day,
And though I've left the nest, my memories won't stay.

And so the tide crept up to greet me,
But I wasn't swept away.
I thought I'd say that you complete me
Before I flew on North to the bay,

But this is now; that was then,
And I hope that you found a friend
From those days when we flew,
And I hope you remember them too

'Cause I see
Puddles forming under your eyes,
But I know
You'll be happy to realize
That when a songbird dies
Its melodies still fly,
But when I see you through dead eyes, I'll cry!

P.S. You owe me a year of thought and a healthy head of hair.
Track Name: memento mori
Yield to the wind
With the lives that you've taken.
Let mine begin,
And my voice awaken.

I've lost my faith
In trying to create.

And I know that there's no one else I can blame;
See the loves of my life when you call my name,
But what's there to life if I can't decide?

I've lost my faith
In trying to create.

I've been cold and calculating, my selfishness a sickness well deserving death.
(I deserve this death)
Help me reignite my flame, its embers have a pulse but I've run out of breath.
(i've run out of breath)
Now it seems I've given up on dreams and aspirations that I won't allow.
(no I can't allow)
I'll just keep it bottled up, and scream it at a therapist ten years from now.
(in ten years from now)