i was a teen once

from by salvador

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lyrics

i met a charming girl recently.
yeah, she's an interesting one
and nothing like the countless mindless others i've been patronizing for fun.
no no, it's really love that i'm after, not meaningless banter leading to a disaster, but an actual answer to why my heart beats faster and i hold nervous laughter every time i'm around her.
god, she could turn the worst wallflower into a dancer.

is this what love is? i kept asking myself, when i felt that cold stinging feeling in my chest and fingertips. well, i hope not or i'll have a goddamned heart attack if i ever do go in for a kiss.
but i'm in no rush, i'm a pleasure delayer
and i asked if she'd like to have lunch with me later
and spent the next two days deciding where i would take her
and lost so much sleep i stayed awake for what seemed
like a whole half delirious/half euphoric week.

so i held doors open and avoided smokin'. ya know, things a gentleman would do.
i like to think of myself as one, even though i'm a bitter selfish asshole too.
and yeah, that date didn't go as i planned so i did what any sane person would do,
and coated my lungs with tar to subdue my mind's racing and my pathetic heart's pacing at the thought of even being close to you. and i've caught myself rehashing our conversations for hours, wishing i could've been more witty.
hell, should i just tell you how i feel or would that only inspire pity?
damn it! i should've made a move when we were lying on your bed
and you got the sudden impulse to lift up your head,
but i, i didn't know how lightly i should tread
and i was hoping i'd have the courage to ask you instead...
to ask you when i realized our conversation was dead...

why can't we talk about food?
i want to talk about sex
why can't we talk about food and sex and sleeping?
i want to talk about food and sex and sleeping
why can't we talk about food?
i want to talk about sex
why can't we talk about you and sex and sleeping?
i want to talk about you and sex and sleeping

well, what do i do now? i guess i could write some more songs, and avoid seeing friends until the semester ends. with any luck, my seclusion will create a false sense of exclusivity...
didn't i hear someone say girls like a guy with a sense of mystery?
who the fuck am i kidding?

i'll probably come crawling home because i can't really handle the stress
and the panic attacks, they'll just start getting worst because of my need to impress
and i can't decide if my fits of passion are the manic raindrops in my sea of depressed
thoughts about how life is a mess. if only i could shutoff my senses when they overwhelm me...if only i could rest.

forget what i just said, i wasn't feeling well, i just wanted to spill my guts or should i say my brain onto someone who wouldn't yell
at me for being mentally weak.
maybe i should spend some more time to think,
but only to myself. you know, develop a better relationship with my internal dialogue so it doesn't try to stab me in the back of the ego next time i leave my guard down, that vindictive bastard.
but anyway,

why can't we talk about food?
i want to talk about sex
why can't we talk about food and sex and sleeping?
i want to talk about food and sex and sleeping
why can't we talk about food?
i want to talk about sex
why can't we talk about food and sex and sleeping?
i want to talk about you and sex and sleeping

credits

from berkeley blues, released March 3, 2014

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about

salvador Berkeley, California

my name is omar.
i collect and record musical instruments when im not sleeping, reading, or crying.

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